Shopping the friendly skies

Oh, Miles and Laurel readers.  You know by now that this blog is built on the premise of loving life's small delights. But the next delight is almost too easy.

SkyMall.

If you've ever been on a plane, you know what it is: the in-flight catalog stocked full of strange little indulgences, from sports paraphernalia to foot massagers to patio furniture, unified under the umbrella of all somehow making life a heck of a lot better.

In cultural studies coursework back in college, my classmates and I enjoyed applying critical theory to popular culture phenomenons, which gave way to this fascination somewhere in between purely detached amusement and sincere, unabashed fondness of said phenomenons.

I continue to revel in that gray zone, and SkyMall plops right into that category.  (See also: Justin Bieber, Jersey Shore, and Lifetime movies.)  I start flipping through SkyMall during the ascent, when my Kindle, computer, and iPod are a collective no-go.  I start by poking fun in my head at the expensive gadgets.  By the time I de-plane, I leave convinced that I need a huge dog bed (for my dog that is, at press time, nonexistent) or a little toy gun that shoots marshmallows. 

On Monday's flight, I started tearing out products that drew my attention.  This went on just two or three times, until the guy in the middle seat in front of me turned around to see what I was doing.  (I'm sorry, 11D.)  

Then I crossed a treacherous line. 

I became the person who actually tucks the SkyMall into her carry-on at the end of a flight, just as the flight attendants always recommend.  I've gone down a serious road with SkyMall now, and I'm not sure I'll be able to turn back, so I might as well share the highlights.

Right away, I noticed this dog bed.  I was more interested, though, in how one would go about procuring a pile of puppies like that one.  Then I wondered how on earth the photographer coerced these puppies into 1) sitting still all together and 2) looking uniformly angelic.  The more you think about it, the more Herculean the task seems.  Is this photo fake?!

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The next gem looks just like ripped jeans but is actually a comfy pair of lounge pants, complete with drawstring.  How 'bout that?
 

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Last, there's the "The Zombie of Montclaire Moors Statue."  I just googled Montclaire Moors to make sure I never accidentally go there, and the top results were for this statue, so I think I'm safe.  If I ever ran by a yard that featured this statue, there's no guesswork to be done.  I'd faint delicately and expire on the spot.

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WARNING: BONUS TIDBIT!

It would be cruel, scary and also probably bad for readership numbers to leave you with the Zombie.  We shall depart the world of SkyMall, for an utterly unrelated photo, courtesy of an ad in my neighborhood newspaper.

Kate Perry, you're a firework.